Day 3 Begins

Mood:  Reflective.

Music:  "Under and Over It" by Five Finger Death Punch

I've toyed with the silly notion several times this year so far that I am going to get fit and eat healthier.  I've started, and stopped, started...and well, convenience and a busy lifestyle always got the best of me and I ended up with a $8 debit transaction and a Whopper in the car.  But that needs to change.  Again.

I have several things pending in my life that have a lot riding on the fact that I need to get in shape.  A job, for one.  As many of you know, I tested and passed the Honolulu Police test in May of 2011.  As I prepared to embark on the journey of getting in shape for the physical in August, my ortho strongly discouraged my participation in the physical testing portion in fear that I would re-injure my ankle.  As we all know, the biggest fear I have is to undo years of surgeries and physical therapy and start over in the quest that has become the biggest fustercluck of my life thus far.  Disheartened, I withdrew from consideration for the academy class of DEC11.  I have no idea if I would have even made it to the academy or not, but I left the island with a great deal of consternation and unhappiness in July.  Since then, I have found myself in a slightly depressive funk on a regular basis.  It affected my (then) job and my personal relationships with friends and family.  I vowed I would get back on track for many reasons, but beating my funk was top of my list at the time.

Another reason I need to get my tubby self in shape is because I asked my girlfriend to marry me in October.  While marriage, in and of itself, does not require a specific shape, I want to start this new chapter in my life looking better, feeling better, and living healthier so I want to be active and have fun.  I know that my previous attempt failed because we both were lazy and never wanted to do anything, among other things.  I want to be the guy that my girl is proud to have my her side, not an additional pull of gravity she drags around.  She deserves that, and I want to give it to her.

So comes the task at hand.  In the past two days, I have restarted my diet.  I am looking at having a 2000 calorie day each day, combined with some form of daily exercise.  I was 500 over on Nov 1st and 300 over on Nov 2nd, so not hitting my goal yet...but I figured it has to be better than the 3000+ I assume I was consuming prior to the start of the month.  I know that eating better will help, but not without the addition of exercise to the diet.  For whatever reason, we skipped the gym on Tuesday, and I regret that decision.  Yesterday it was snowy and crappy out, and my mood wasn't the best, so we stayed home and had dinner and watched TV instead.  Today is a different story since Melissa works until 1500 instead of a mid-shift, so we'll have time to get things done before dinner unlike Tuesday and Wednesday...  It's odd how simple a few hours of the day can throw off a schedule, but it's something I am going to have to get used to with her new job.  After training, she'll be working 1000-1900, but that's another story for another time.  We just need to set a schedule and stick to it.  I'm motivated, she's motivated, but now we just get to get on the same page.

The last task I need to accomplish is getting a regular sleep schedule again.  Since being laid off 45 days ago, I have not slept a full night or at the right times.  I am positive that this lack of meaningful sleep is contributing to my issues and funk, so I need to correct it.  No more 0300 bedtimes or noon wake ups...I need to set a serious schedule and stick to it.  I think 2300 bedtimes are reasonable, but getting out of bed by 0800 is going to be the difficulty since I haven't actually done that in months, even before I lost my job (which, by the way, had nothing to do with getting laid off - I don't think they know just how much I hated my previous job and was literally never there to this day...).

Goals for today:

1. Write paper for friend.
2. Make healthy lunch and take short nap to regular sleep schedule.
3. Get old electronics together for trip to GameStop to try to sell back things I don't use.
4. 60 minutes on the treadmill or in the pool tonight.
5. Healthy dinner and in bed by 2200.